Two weeks ago, I mentioned Kevin Solis’s reaction to his father being critically injured at the Lapu Lapu Festival: Kevin has been emotionally overwhelmed but spiritually strong.  He said, ‘God’s will be done,’ quoted Proverbs 3, and even though his father was hit on Saturday night, Kevin went to Sunday Mass the next morning.  For some of us, this might not be the reaction we would expect but it’s a beautiful one and the right one.

So, let’s reflect on the difference between feeling close to God and being close to God.  It’s normal that, at times, we feel far from God when life is not going well, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re far from Him.  A common temptation, when we feel far from God, is to react with discouragement, sadness, and turning inwards.

On this solemnity of the Ascension, we’re asking the Holy Spirit to make us more mature, to the point that, when we feel far from God, our reaction is faith and love.

At the end of the Gospel, it says, “Then he [Jesus] led them out as far as Bethany, and, lifting up his hands, he blessed them.  While he was blessing them, he withdrew from them and was carried up into heaven.  And they worshiped him, and returned to Jerusalem with great joy; and they were continually in the temple blessing God” (Lk 24:50-53).  The apostles’ reaction is not what we’d expect (Pope Benedict XVI, Jesus of Nazareth: Holy Week, 280-281).  Jesus returns to heaven, it seems like He’s left them—the expected reaction would be sadness.  The world doesn’t seem any better, only a few believe He’s raised from the dead, and yet their reaction is joy!

It’s because they know that Jesus is still with them, for two reasons: 1) He said to them, “Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Mt 28:20), and He fulfills this promise in the Eucharist (Ecclesia in Eucharistia, 1).  When Jesus was on earth, He was physically next to them, but, in the Eucharist, He is physically inside them.  2) He sends the Holy Spirit to dwell in our bodies and souls.  He said, “You will be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now…  You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you” (Acts 1:5,8).  Again, the Holy Spirit no longer just blesses us from the outside but from the inside.

There’s a parallel to the apostles’ reaction in our own human development.  Social psychologist Dr. Jonathan Haidt explains that young children see their parents as a ‘secure base’ providing comfort and protection.  But, as children grow, they go out and explore (they crawl, touch things, meet new people, play rough games).  At this point, they face problems (get hurt or rejected), go back to their parents for comfort, and then go back out again.  Then they explore even more, eventually walking to school or a friend’s house with no help from their parents.  Haidt says, “As the child develops she is able to internalize the secure base.  She doesn’t need the parent’s physical presence to feel that she has support” (The Anxious Generation, 92).

This is what God the Father does with us.  He is our secure base, but we need to internalize this truth.  He is close to us even when we don’t feel it.  If we expect to feel His presence always then we don’t mature.

We touch on this truth about once a year because we need reminders.   Are we all on the same page here?  Please nod.  If you’re falling asleep and your head is bobbing, that counts.  Here are three ways to apply this truth.

1) Praise God when we feel close to Him.  When He gives this gift, consciously thank Him for it because we don’t deserve it.  This is St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, born in New York in 1774.  Her mother died when she was three, her younger sister died when she was four; she was sent to live with her uncle when she was eight—despite the hardships of life, she had a secure base in her family and especially in God the Father.

She wrote, “In the year 1789, when my father was in England, one morning in May, in the lightness of a cheerful heart, I jumped in the wagon that was driving to the wood for brush, about a mile from home… and I set off in the woods.”  She describes all the beauties of God’s creation, then adds, “God was my Father, my all.  I prayed, sang hymns, cried, laughed, talking to myself of how far He could place me above all sorrow.  Then I laid still to enjoy the heavenly peace that came over my soul; and I am sure, in the two hours so enjoyed, grew ten years in the spiritual life” (Quoted in Fr. Timothy Gallagher, The Discernment of Spirits, 128).  In two hours, she grew ten years—how?  By praising and thanking God.  Gratitude bonds people, and praise bonds us to God.

2) When we receive Holy Communion, ask Jesus for gifts, but don’t expect good feelings.  Today is First Communion for many of our young people, the first time they receive Jesus’ Body into their own body.  Holy Communion is food, which, if we desire, will nourish our faith, hope, love, and every other virtue.  But, like many good foods, it often has no taste.  Most of the time, there are no feelings, but it nourishes us—we should teach our children this, so that they have the right expectations of the Eucharist.

Like a good father, Jesus cares about our feelings, but His primary concern is not to make us feel good.  His greatest concern is that we have a relationship with Him, which makes us good, and that makes us feel good.

3) Remember the bus analogy, which is about anticipating suffering.  Two people are taking the bus: The first person is on his phone, and, because the street is straight, he holds on to the railing lightly.  But as soon as they hit a curve, he falls.  The second person also holds on to the railing, but she looks ahead and anticipates the curve.  She spends more energy holding on, but there’s no fall (The Discernment of Spirits, 131-132).

Rule 10 of the Discernment of Spirits from St. Ignatius says: “Let the one who is in consolation think how he will conduct himself in the desolation which will come after, taking new strength for that time.”  St. Ignatius is telling us to think: Suffering will come, so don’t be surprised; don’t say, ‘I don’t feel close to God—what’s going on?’  Let’s not have false expectations.  We think: Jesus is with us, because we receive Him in Holy Communion and the Holy Spirit is dwelling in us.  And so, what will our reaction be?  We’re going to love.  This is the curve of life.  Just hold on to Jesus and the curve will become straight again.

We need this outward-focused mindset when we’re in spiritual desolation.  When there’s a curve in life, we not only take care of ourselves but take care of others.

Next week is our Pentecost Challenge, when we ask these three things: Is Jesus’ mission at the center of your identity?  Check the box if you put Jesus’ mission at the center of your identity in the last 12 months.  If His mission is not at the center, would you like it to be?  When Jesus’ mission is at the center, we love people even when we feel nothing—paradoxically, by giving of ourselves, we allow the Holy Spirit to fill us more with Himself!

When Jesus ascended, the apostles’ reaction was joy because they knew He was inside them.  For those of us who have heard this truth before, the time must come when you don’t need anyone to remind you because you’ve internalized it.  Even if we don’t feel it, the Holy Spirit is inside us, giving us power, and so we overflow with love and sometimes even joy.