Remember this saying of Dr. Scott Hahn, which he paraphrased from St. Thérèse: God always gives me what I want, because I only want what He wants. Does God always give us what we want? He’s the perfect Father, and always gives us what’s best. So, maybe we don’t receive that for which we ask because it’s not what He wants. With this in mind, today at Mass, for what should we pray?
When Jesus was in Gethsemani, He prayed, “‘Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me [the cup of suffering and death—something to which we’ll return at the end]; yet, not my will but yours be done’” (Lk 22:42). Did the Father give what Jesus wanted? Yes. Jesus didn’t want the suffering, but, more important than this, He wanted what the Father wanted: that our sins would be forgiven. All of us are thankful that Jesus offered this prayer, because, without it, we would choose hell for eternity. In addition, because of this prayer, we have come to know that the infinite God loves us so much that He died for us.
The Gospel today says, “Jesus told them a parable about their need to pray always and not to lose heart” (Lk 18:1). Sometimes we give up praying because God doesn’t give us that for which we ask quickly enough. Jesus is telling us not to give up! It’s good to pray, for example, that He heal us, but if He doesn’t, it’s because He’s working through it. This is not meant to be cold comfort. It’s actually a reminder that God is working a greater good—and this keeps us praying.
Jesus tells a parable about a selfish judge who keeps on getting bothered by a widow. The only reason the judge hears her case is because she bothers him incessantly! Jesus is making a comparison: If someone wicked grants justice, “Will not God [Who is all good] grant justice to his chosen ones who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long in helping them? I tell you, he will quickly grant justice to them” (18:7-8). However, let’s admit that, while God’s timing is perfect, His sense of timing is different than ours.
So, why do we have to keep on asking our perfect Father for what we want?
Reason #1: Because sometimes we ask for the wrong things (like money we don’t really need), so repeated prayer allows us to identify the right things (the virtue of living a simple life).
Reason #2: To prevent us from becoming entitled. Ever met a spoiled child? ‘When’s dinner?’ The reality is, the more we have, the less grateful we are for it. None of us thanks the Father every morning for clean air and water. But people who move here from poor countries do. And, sadly, after a long time, they stop thanking Him. The Father doesn’t give us everything we want because being entitled is horrible for relationships.
Reason #4: Here’s the main point today: Prayer is meant to change us, not God. No one wants peace in Ukraine, Israel, Nigeria, Sudan, Myanmar more than God. There’s no peace, not because of Him, but because human free will opposes Him. He already has done everything in becoming man, dying for us, and offering us the Holy Spirit! And He’s wondering: Will any of us give all we have for peace? For example, would any of us ever be open, if God called us, to go to those war-torn countries and give our lives for peace? The point is that we’re not willing to go to the extremes that Jesus did to bring about peace. When we pray for peace over and over, we’re praying that the human heart changes, especially ours.
Can I tell you a funny story, but one that has a point? My father was always self-conscious about being bald—he told us so. Later in life, he admitted to my brother, who was in the seminary at the time, that he stopped believing in God because God took away his hair. My brother told me: “When I heard that, I thought, ‘That is so lame.’” So my brother prayed that God would take away his own hair just to show dad that it’s not important. My brother asked God over and over: ‘Help my father to come back to you, and take away my hair so that he sees this isn’t important. You’re important, Lord!’
This brings us to the Eucharist. Every time we participate at Mass, we participate in the reality that God gave everything He had to heal the world. When Jesus offered the cup of His Blood, He gave everything so that people would come to the Father. He prayed over and over for the salvation of the world and He offered Himself. Therefore, when we pray at Mass, not only are we praying for many things, we’re praying that we give our lives for the healing of the world.
And here’s the challenge: When we pray for things at Mass, let’s pray that we’re willing to give our whole lives the way Jesus did.
When we first start following Jesus, our prayers are usually focused on asking for things: physical healing, passing exams, finding a job—all good. As we mature, we spend more time praying: ‘Jesus, help me be more faithful to You, to love when it’s difficult to love, to smile when it’s difficult to smile, to be courageous when I want to take the easy path, to serve more people, to stop wasting time. Today, help me love like You.’
In the 1600s, in now modern-day Canada, St. John de Brébeuf wrote in his journal: “For two days now I have experienced a great desire to be a martyr… Jesus… what can I give you in return for all the favors you have first conferred on me? I will take from your hand the cup of your sufferings… My God, it grieves me greatly that you are not known, that in this… wilderness all have not been converted to you, that sin has not been driven from it. My God, even if all the brutal tortures which prisoners in this region must endure should fall on me, I offer myself most willingly to them”.
St. John celebrated Mass every day, holding the chalice of Jesus’ Blood in his hands, and Jesus transformed him. By God’s grace, he arrived at the point where he could say, ‘God always gives me what I want, because I only want what He wants.’