At World Youth Day in Poland, 2016, during Mass with hundreds of priests, we just received Communion and next to me was a priest on his phone—I was shocked. I said, ‘Should you be on your phone during Mass?’ He snapped back, ‘I’m texting my group.’ Was I too strong in my tone? Was his reason legitimate? As we were devesting, I looked for him and apologized, and he apologized in return, but we were both still upset. A part of me didn’t want to apologize because I feared looking like a fool for criticizing someone too strongly; I also didn’t want to let him off the hook for doing something wrong. But I had to do it because of Jesus’ command.
Today is the second in our three-part series on the internet. Last week, Jesus gave us a loving and strong warning about how we use our devices. This week, with Jesus’ teaching on the necessity of forgiveness, we ponder how “Social media trains us to do the opposite. It encourages us to make rapid public judgments with little concern for the humanity of those we criticize, no knowledge of the context in which they acted, and no awareness that we have often done the very thing for which we are publicly shaming them” (Dr. Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation, 210). In general, our online use encourages impulsivity which prevents us from following Jesus’ life-giving teachings.
“Peter came and said to Jesus, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive my brother or sister if they sin against me? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times’” (Mt 18:21-22). ‘Seven’ is important because, in Hebrew, when someone makes a covenant with another, they literally say, ‘I seven myself’. It’s a sign of completion, which is why God finishes creation on the seventh day of the week, the Sabbath. Here, St. Peter believes that forgiving someone seven times is complete, but Jesus shows that God’s forgiveness is infinite (‘seventy-seven’).
Jesus then recounts what’s now called the Parable of the Unforgiving/Wicked Servant. A servant is called before the king because he owes 10,000 talents, talent being a weight of measurement, equaling (depending on what’s measured) hundreds of millions to billions of dollars today. Amazingly, the master forgives the debt! But this servant then refuses to forgive another servant, who owes him one hundred days wages. The master finds out about this injustice and punishes him with torture, common in Roman prisons. Jesus adds, “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (18:35).
Let’s make four points: 1) God the Father doesn’t want us to go to hell because He loves us; He sent His Son to die for us—that’s how much He doesn’t want us to be lost. He’s done everything He can to stop it; 2) Unforgiveness is a kind of hell. The pain people have caused us in the past is done, but often (sometimes not by choice), we keep on reliving it at an emotional level! So, we need healing, but another necessary part is forgiveness—that’s the only act that will set us free, and that’s something we must choose. 3) Unforgiveness can’t exist in heaven. If we die in God’s friendship, we need to be so full of love that we’re able to hug every person in heaven, including those who hurt us. 4) Forgiveness of great evils is impossible for us, but not for Jesus, so, if we respond, the Holy Spirit gives us the strength and love to forgive.
Online culture weakens receiving the Holy Spirit by making us impulsive. Many of us have heard of outrage culture, where people disproportionately react to something wrong, without thinking and without trying to improve things. For example, President Trump does many immoral things, but it’s also wrong to hate him, to call him ‘Hitler.’ We should call out the immoral things he does, but never sin ourselves. Outrage culture tricks Christians to think we’re righteous to criticize him, while not being more outraged at 100,000 annual abortions in Canada, euthanasia of tens of thousands, and in vitro fertilization which leads to thousands of frozen or dead babies.
Last week, we mentioned this book, The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains, a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize. The author quotes Sean Parker, Facebook’s first president, who famously admitted that “social networks… were designed from the start to exploit ‘a vulnerability in human psychology.’ He, Mark Zuckerberg… ‘understood this consciously, and we did it anyway’” (234). I remember that Fr. Pierre, who lived here six years ago, commented that I would take my computer into the bathroom! I was watching videos and listening to podcasts, all the time, but never giving my brain a rest. Now that I’ve admitted something somewhat embarrassing, how about yourselves? Ever use your phone in ways that aren’t healthy, even sinful?
In 2017, one study had 500 people take a test with one group having their phones face down, the other having the phones in another room. Who did better? “As the phone’s proximity increased, brainpower decreased… The more heavily the students relied on their phones in their everyday lives, the greater the cognitive penalty they suffered” (230). Another study put 142 people into pairs and asked them to converse, with half having a phone in the room. Afterwards, they found that “‘the mere presence of… phones… diminished ‘the extent to which individuals felt empathy and understanding from their partners’” (231). Finally, one university director says that, based on his experiments, “the more distracted we become, the less able we are to experience the… most distinctively human forms of empathy, compassion… ‘For some kinds of thoughts, especially moral decision-making… we need to allow for adequate time and reflection…’ As the Net… diminishes our capacity for contemplation, it is altering the depth of our emotions as well as our thoughts” (221).
The impulsivity impedes us from following Jesus’ teachings, including His commands to us to offer forgiveness to everyone, which gives life.
A friend told him about the story of St. Maria Goretti, who, when eleven, was attacked by 18-year-old Alessandro, whose family shared a barn with Maria’s.
He had sexually harassed her for three years and tried to assault her twice (Later he would admit that he was influenced by pornography and the mass media. This third time, he approached her with a knife, and when she said, ‘No! I will not! It is a sin. God forbids it. You will go to hell, Alessandro. You will go to hell if you do it!’ he stabbed her and left her to die. After a day of agony, her last words were, ‘For the love of Jesus, I pardon him, and I want him to be with me in heaven’ (Dr. Dawn Eden, My Peace I Give You, 95-102). Eight years later, while in prison, he dreamt of Maria, who gave him 14 lilies, one for each stab wound, representing her forgiveness. When released after 30 years, he went to Maria’s mother and asked forgiveness and spent the rest of his life in a monastery, doing penance for his sins. When Joe Schmid heard this, he said, ‘I want what she’s on… This is it! This is the stuff!’ We need time to let these realities sink into our head and hearts.
So, let’s apply this simply to Mass. If we use our phones to follow the Readings, to prepare for Mass, good. But, I believe it’s a venial sin of disrespect to be checking feeds or texting during Mass or in church, unless there’s sufficient reason. I understand if someone’s not a follower of Jesus and is visiting us, but it’s not right for someone who loves Him.
Last week, we talked about us adults setting a better example for young people and this Saturday, we’re having our first Family Confessions. And remember, when a family goes to Confession, the father, who spiritually leads, then the mother, go first.
At World Youth Day, I told our group: ‘Lots of people will be taking photos of the pope during Mass but no one here is allowed to. Once Mass begins, no phones.’ We need to go against our impulsive desires, like having photos of everything, in order to listen to Jesus and His teachings.